Slay the Disappointment Vampire

5 Ways to Trust Yourself/Slay the Disappointment Vampire I dont trust myself. OK, thats not entirely true. I trust that Im driven. I trust that Im smart. I trust that Im personable. I trust that Im loved. I trust that Im liked. But there are things that I dont trust. Ive conditioned myself to not trust them. Dont trust that great audition! You probably wont get a callback. Dont trust the kick-ass callback! You probably wont get the part. Dont trust! Its too scary. Trust disappointment, instead. I dont trust that it will happen because I will it to. I dont trust The Secret. I dont trust that everything will work out. I dont trust that I know the things I should (I hate that word!) know. I dont trust anything beyond my control. And therefore.I dont trust myself. But what I realized, sitting figuratively starting fires with Danielle LaPorte 20 other kick-ass women last month, is that I know everything I need to in order to continue on my journey. No, I dont have a crystal ball, but at 31 years 10 months old (exactly, as I write this), Ive succeeded, Ive failed, Ive loved, Ive hurt, Ive lost Ive gained. I could go into details but reallythats the gist. What I see now in my crystal ball (maybe I do have one!) is this community Ive built. MichelleLand consists of not only the people I know love, but people I trust, some whom I see daily some whom Ive never met. I realize I know everything I need to know, and if I dont know it, I know someone who does, or someone who can find me someone who does. So yknow what I did when I left that Fire Starter session? I taped this vlog, then I went home unsubscribed from every newsletter by any person that didnt live in MichelleLand. I signed up for a trillion of them when I launched When I Grow Up, coming to the conclusion that These People (yknow, the ones who Know Things) will tell me everything I should know. And it made me cluttered slightly crazy. It sucked my time my brain my energy. I was done listening to what I should know. I vowed to move forward trusting what I do know, asking for help with what I didnt. And thats made me see that everything that unfolds from this point on comes from trusting in MichelleLand. I can believe in the people that make up MichelleLand, and that makes me believe that Im worthy of this trust, too. Here are some ways to start trusting yourself: Think of who lives in YourNameHereLand. Danielle calls it members of your tribe people that see the world the same as you do, even though they probably have different personality traits or different skills sets. Who do you want in Your Tribe? Make a list of the 50 people that get a seat on the bus going to YourNameHereLand, why. Youll soon see whos part of your community, the traits that new people need to get a seat on the next ride. Make a list of all the things youre telling yourself you should know about Your Project or Your Goal. If you cant replace the word should with want or need, cross it off the list. Thats coming from an outsider theyre not the boss of you. Then, next to each item that remains, write the reason behind why you think you should or want or need to know that. If its anything close to, Because I need to or else Ill fail!, cross it off the list. Thats just you thinking you need to know something, its baloney.   If the reason is something else (ie I want to know how to knit because Id love to make something homemade special for my baby niece), then write down all the people who can help you learn. Then, ask for help. If thats scary, offer to barter: a knitting lesson from your colleague in exchange for a make-up lesson from you. How is that not a win-win? Make it fun, so its fail-proof. Im working on a super top secret project (details on my blog at the end of the month!) that stemmed from the need, the want, the desire to collaborate with 3 other women who I admire to death. We formed an idea that has the potential to take the interwebs by storm. But if it doesnt? If my Moms the only one that jumps on our bus? OK, I wont lie say we wont be disappointed, but I know its going to be a huge learning experience, a huge amount of fun, no matter the outcome. Its been fun fleshing this out. Its been fun putting it together. Its been fun getting to know an incredible group of smart, ambitious, creative, funny women. There is no failing with this project. Its just not possible. Its too much fun. Envision yourself living the dream. I know its hippy-dippy of me, but I dont care. I allow myself to see myself in Complete Success Land. I know what I eat, and how I feel, and how I look, where I go, who I see. Do that for yourself. Often. If that doesnt cut it, make a vision board of it put it someplace you see at least twice a day. Let yourself look at it. Daydream. Decide you dont believe in jinxes or bad luck. Theres no such thing. It was never invented. Me? Im a waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop girl. Something good just happened? Dont trust it! Something bad is right around the corner. And yknow what? I look for the Bad Thing, I always find it. Always. What happens when you stop looking? I know its tough. I know its scary. I know its weird, even. But I do know that, as artists who feel that Disappointment Vampire looming, learning to trust yourself is a key to your success. A key to your happiness. Dont you want to give yourself that key? This article was in my newsletter over a month ago, as my meaty articles often are. If it doesnt look familiar, its because youre not on the list! Make yourself a VIP without the bottle charge by clicking here to subscribe.